Body Positivity is Important for Older Women Too…

A Quick Story You Can Probably Relate To…

Today, someone I barely know wanted to ask a question… They asked me if the size of my tummy was just from having kids? Is that normal? Trust me, any body positivity I had at that moment went straight out the door and down the street.

And I initially wanted to react by defending myself. Chronic pain autoimmune made it hard to exercise. Pain and fatigue weakened my body. Menopause. I’m only a size 12. Why shouldn’t I get to enjoy good food and wine like men can?
But I know I don’t owe anyone explanations.

As I try to practice non-reactivity about this, I find that today, I cannot. This hurt me hard.
I know it shouldn’t. I know that what I look like and who I am are only tied together in the minds of the patriarchy that drove damaging societal trends. Trends that, unfortunately, established much of my basis for self-esteem in my younger days. I know the person who said these things was also biased by those same societal expectations. That they meant no harm. 

The Truth

I know that I am a person of amazing value. I also know that after that comment, I wanted to hide. I looked in the mirror and called myself fat, and ugly. I felt crushed. Definitely not one of my strongest body positivity moments. 😬 That’s where I am right now. Once again, having to pick myself up and dust off the dirt that makes me feel that without my looks, I am worth less. (Read : worthless…) That without being a size 2, 4, or 6, I am not sexy. I am not beautiful. And therefore, I am not worthy of desire. And therefore, not a woman of worth.

And once again, I am shocked at how deep the damage goes. How deep the programming goes. And not just for me. (If you haven’t yet, go read “How Society Damaged Me, and Probably You Too.””)

So, how do you get past those types of attitudes?
You pick yourself up tomorrow and remind yourself what you’ve learned. You try again. You practice retraining your brain so that your worth does not lie in your body. Your face. Your sex. And you get a little closer to believing it.

Body Positivity : Embracing Your Gorgeous Self

So, let’s dive into it – body image. I’m pretty sure you know where I’m going with this: it’s not just a concern for the young ‘uns. It’s something that we amazing older women deal with, too. So, let’s chat about how you can rock those confidence vibes and own your beautiful body like the queen you are!

Society’s “Age Old” Expectations

Can we just take a moment to roll our eyes at the media and those so-called beauty standards? They love to put a spotlight on youthful skin and lifted breasts. But guess what? We’re not buying into that nonsense anymore. Those laugh lines? They’re proof that you’ve had some amazing times and are not about to hide that. Let’s stop using the term anti-aging. Let’s pro-age instead!

Flipping the Script on Body Image Issues

Let’s flip the script on what’s considered “beautiful.” How about we start seeing our bodies as the awesome stories they are? Those gray hairs? Each one’s a chapter in the book of our lives. The way our bodies change? It’s just a sign that we’ve been around the block and have the wisdom to prove it.

Putting Ourselves First

Taking care of yourself isn’t about looking good for others. It’s about feeling good for YOU. So, let’s move those bodies, not to fit into someone else’s idea of “perfect,” but to celebrate what your bodies can do. Dancing, hiking, yoga – you name it. When you prioritize feeling great, your body responds with a big ol’ thank you. That’s what body positivity in older women should be all about. In every woman, for that matter.

Cheers to the Tribe

Ladies, let’s have a moment of appreciation for our squad – our friends who’ve been through the same battles. They get it, right? Surrounding ourselves with positivity and ditching the negativity is a game-changer. We’re in this together, and there’s nothing more powerful than sharing our stories, lifting each other up, and laughing about the whole aging thing. If you are looking for that tribe, The Middle Girls is a great place to start! Because we are there, right now!

Flaunt It, ‘Cause You Still Got It

Guess what? We’re trendsetters, and it’s time the world caught up. In fact, the world is.  Women over 50 are one of the fastest growing groups of influencers online. Media, are you listening? Let’s see more of our gorgeous selves out there. Let’s show everyone that beauty isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. From wrinkles to silver hair, every bit of us tells a unique story, and that’s a story worth sharing.

Body image for middle-aged women is a serious issue. Let’s all try to reprogram our thinking, and hopefully start to reprogram society’s thinking. The mirror society holds up to us women to determine beauty is flawed. You are beautiful because your body is attached to you. To the woman you are. Your body tells your story, and it matters. And anyone in your world who doesn’t understand that needs re-education or re-prioritization.

In a nutshell, gorgeous ladies, it’s time to love the skin you’re in. Let’s give society a lesson in self-love, because we know better now. Embracing our bodies, nurturing our souls, and supporting our tribe – that’s the real recipe for feeling fabulous at any age. So, go out there and rock it! 🌟💃

-Kathy

10 Body Positivity Affirmations + Quotes

1. “Any body type is beautiful. It’s all about loving what you got and rocking it.” — Megan Trainor
2. “I’m so grateful that my body has taken care of me this long. It’s given me children, it’s healed from various accidents and surgeries, and I just feel, I think that we talk about that. I feel better in my 50s than I ever did prior.” — Brooke Shields
3. “Each individual woman’s body demands to be accepted on its own terms.” — Gloria Steinem
4. “I’ve been sucking my stomach in since I was 11… I very specifically decided to relinquish and release every muscle I had that I used to clench to hide the reality. That was my goal. I have never felt more
5. “Don’t waste so much time thinking about how much you weigh. There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living.” — Meryl Streep
6. “How I feel about myself is more important than how I look. Feeling confident, being comfortable in your skin — that’s what really makes you beautiful.” — Bobbi Brown
7. “You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise Hay
8. “You have to stand up and say, ‘There’s nothing wrong with me or my shape or who I am, you’re the one with the problem!'” — Jennifer Lopez
9. “Everybody has a part of her body that she doesn’t like, but I’ve stopped complaining about mine because I don’t want to critique nature’s handiwork … My job is simply to allow the light to shine out of the masterpiece.” — Alfre Woodard
10. “Step away from the mean girls and say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks. Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others.” — Oprah

Need more ideas on self-care? Visit “Do You Feel Fat? The Big Lie...”

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